i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
