JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
