I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
