You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
