You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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