i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize