What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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