Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
