Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
either way he was missing a nipple.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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