I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
