Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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