the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
