pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
