Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
