Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
