i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
