if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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