making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
