So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
