3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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