This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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