We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
