just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
