There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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