Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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