It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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