Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
