Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
