he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he fucked my hip out of place.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
