C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize