He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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