1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
