i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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