i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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