The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
