My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
