I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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