To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
