I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
