is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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