Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
