4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
