He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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