There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
