I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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