Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Michael Bay diarrhea
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
