She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
