Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize