I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
