apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize