Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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