i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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