How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
