WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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