:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize