I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
