things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
