My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
