alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
