party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
