I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
