Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
