He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize