I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
