I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
