ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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