In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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