that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
