Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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