I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
