it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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