you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
