it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Screwed.edu
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize